The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we webpage are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If hop over to these guys not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar