The Sensuality Pitfall, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, More about the author wellness, love, and closeness .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Many gay guys want to discover out from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out visit the site that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it their website needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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