The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), have a peek here which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us article source feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urbane areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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